The end of the honeymoon will come, I’m sorry to say.
When the tan has faded, the wedding photos are up on Facebook and you’ve stopped gazing at the all the photos, you need to get yourself prepared.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE CHILDREN? will be on repeat.
Your response might be the following… ‘Ooh, yes. I want them right away!’
Or, like I was, you might be gobsmacked and then utter incomprehensible ‘errs’ and ‘ums’ which then lead to the assumption that you don’t know what you want.
This is a DANGEROUS conversational field: people start giving you advice…
‘Well. Don’t leave it too long…’
‘Your mum and dad are going to make wonderful grandparents!’
‘You’ve got to start. No one wants an old mum, Kathryn.’
When I responded with… ‘I don’t really want children. We’re quite happy as we are,’ it was useless. People saw me as a ‘project’.
If I could rewind and go back to 2008 when people asked ‘so WHEN are you going to have a baby?’, I would say this:
1) I had a nightmare that my children turned out like yours.
2) I’m like Joey, I don’t share food.
3) When I leave the house, all I want to carry is my cardigan.
4) I don’t want to cripple myself from treading on hidden Lego pieces.
5) I like my walls to be snot, vomit and crayon free.
6) I like the fact that wearing a bikini isn’t mortifying.
7) I like quiet.
8) I like it that going to the toilet is a solo activity.
9) I like it that there are no hand prints on my T.V.
10) I don’t think eye bags would suit me.
What would you say?
Make sure you make it interesting, you may not be asked again.