1) The roads are clear on the way to work and you smile, delighted, because you’re going 30 miles an hour on the ring road and not 2.
2) There are teenagers ambling along and, more alarmingly, they are out of uniform!
3) There are parents looking pale, holding children by the hand who are scampering along beside them like mini Tiggers (due to the bucket of Coco pops they had for breakfast) and it’s ONLY the second week in.
4) Some people are laughing raucously in the pub or are loudly gossiping in the park. These exuberant and loud beings are teachers. Don’t worry, they’ll be locked away again in September.
5) There is a collective Whinge across the country… ‘Mum, this is boring!’ No matter what money is spent, this is the inevitable response. Mums across the country grit their teeth and dream of silent beaches.
6) Halfway through the holidays, teachers look furtive and a worry line appears: they are wondering when they should start their planning.
7) Halfway through the holidays, all parents are making enquiries into holiday camps for next year where it is for children ONLY.
8) Neighbours are tutting loudly over the garden fence because it is the forty-fifth time a ball has been thrown over their fence.
9) In the last week of the holidays, parents are singing ‘Happy’ under their breath; teenagers are sullenly silent; and teachers feel the tension as if their stomach is caught in a vice-like grip as they calculate how much work they still haven’t done. Hourly bowel movements have occurred, as a result.
Happy holidays! 😉